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Changing Yourself Is Easier than Changing Others

No matter how much efforts you make, sometimes people just do not treat you the way you want them to. Of course, it’s important to do your best to try to change the way they see you, but there are times when you just cannot change how others feel about you. Relationship problems are probably some of the most difficult and painful experiences that you encounter in your life. But sometimes, there’s nothing you can do to change other people’s feelings and perceptions.

The only thing you can do is change the way you think. You have complete control of what you think about the situation, how you feel about it, and what kind of attitude you will take. You cannot change how other people see you, so it is best to focus on how you can change your perception rather than agonizing over other people’s perceptions.

Even if someone mocks you, insults you, or teases you, just think, “do as you like,” and let it not bother you. That person may be misusing the freedom given by God, or the person could be actually trying to educate you in a harsh way. Actually, both cases are possible. Some people get upset simply because they do not like you. Others get upset because they are worried about you and want to guide you to a better direction in life. Whatever the case may be, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Change the way you think, how you see others, and how you treat others. The best way to improve relationships is to first make efforts to change yourself.

Consider this: You cannot change how other people see you. You can only change the way you think and feel.

Try this: Think of someone you want to improve the relationship with. How can you change the way you see him or her?

This article was written based on Ryuho Okawa’s lecture, Coping with Depression.