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The First Key to Meaningful & Happy Relationships: Forgiveness

In the last post, we talked about how our happiness is impacted by how mindfully we live of the love we give and receive in our day to day relationships. The togetherness and love between our family and friends has the power to make us feel whole because they are a precious part of who we are and our inner world.

We’re All Connected

We humans were hardwired to live together and find meaning through each other. So what do we do when the connections we hold precious breaks apart? What can we do when our relationships encounter hurt, disappointment, and other challenges? Our happiest memories come from the joyful moments that were shared with others–Mother’s Day, graduation ceremonies, weddings, births, and awards ceremonies–so when the bonds that hold us together weaken or crumble, we feel devastated, depressed, frustrated, and upset. We are deeply impacted even if criticism comes from total strangers, because deep within our hearts, we innately believe that happiness comes from connection and belonging.

Try to Be a Mind Reader: What Is The Other Person Thinking and Feeling?

So what can we do when we’re experiencing friction and disagreements in relationships with those around us? There is a way that is based on shifting your perspective towards understanding and giving. This can sound like the last thing you want to do when you’re in the midst of pain and heartache and all you want to do is be understood, validated, and supported. But what if there is a way to create lasting happiness without them? When, for example, you’re faced with a problem all on your own. The joy of the inner peace that is gained when the weight is lifted off your heart will be irreplaceable and worth every effort and struggle.

Misunderstandings, hurt, and frustration wouldn’t arise as much if we had complete knowledge of each other’s inner world. Struggles we face in relationships usually come from not being able to understand the other person’s real thoughts and feelings, and from our own inability to express ourselves fully enough so they can understand and accept us. Our physical bodies–our eyes, ears, mouth, nose, and skin– limits how well we can read and understand others’ thoughts and feelings. They have a way of fooling us about the truth, because they influence the way we interpret and perceive reality.

We Can Understand Each Other Because Our Hearts Are Our Connected

But as long as we have the ability to think, our thoughts have the power to break through these physical boundaries and bridge our hearts and others with love, even without directly talking to them. You may have had an experience in the past, when hurt, anger, frustration, and disappointment disappeared the instant you talked about each other’s feelings. The hurtful words from your friend may have come from a moment of self-protection because of difficulties she was facing at the moment, and not meant to hurt, reject, or criticize you. Or it may have been due to something we unintentionally said or did. The same understanding can be accomplished just by shifting our focus to their inner world. It’s just like the way we sometimes finish each other’s sentences. There’s so much that we know about others without the need for expression.