The Spiritual Truth Between Parents and Children
Lately, we’ve witnessed many tragic incidents involving child abuse, and even parents taking the lives of their own children. Every time we hear such reports, our hearts ache deeply. This sorrow is rooted in a spiritual truth: "There is no parent who truly hates their own child from the heart."
Some people may feel, "I have no memories of being loved by my parents." Others might not harbor resentment but may feel they were less loved compared to their siblings or raised with excessive strictness that made them fearful. As a result, they might struggle to feel genuine gratitude toward their parents.
We believe many people carry some form of unresolved feelings toward their parents. If you find it hard to express gratitude or feel even a slight sense of conflict in your heart, we encourage you to learn about the spiritual truth that exists between parents and children.
By understanding this truth, you may find that those lingering feelings can begin to dissolve, allowing your heart to feel lighter and filled with light.
Master Okawa said:
"Humans have memories. Old memories gradually fade and can only be recalled vaguely, but from time to time, we may remember just the most striking moments. Among these fading memories, there are some that continue to shine brilliantly and never disappear. This is precisely the memory of love."
For example, think back to when you were sick, and your parents stayed up all night to care for you. Entrance ceremonies, graduation ceremonies, birthdays—those celebrations during important milestones in your life. Even if you tend to forget them in the daily rush of life, the kindness of your parents still shines brightly in your heart. Even the love that may seem small surely contained their genuine, heartfelt affection.
When you recall those precious memories that will never return, you may find countless moments of quiet love sparkling everywhere.
Of course, parent-child relationships come in many forms, varying from person to person. Not all memories with parents are filled with happiness. There are times when you can’t remember their love at all—times when feelings of resentment linger. Everyone experiences such negative emotions at some point.
But when you look back on the past, if you can, even if they were small moments, recalling the times when you felt loved will bring you a much greater sense of peace. There is a beautiful secret within the bond between parent and child.
Master Okawa also said:
"You may have complaints about your parents. However, it was you yourself who chose to be born knowing those parents. Saying 'My parents gave birth to me without my consent' is fundamentally mistaken, as you undoubtedly chose your parents before being born. You knew who your parents would be before you came into this world."
This may sound surprising to some, but it is a spiritual truth. We are souls who reincarnate on Earth over and over again, to train our spirits and make them shine brighter. The closest presence in this place of spiritual training is our parents. Even in past lives, in what we call previous incarnations, they must have been important figures to us. Parents and children are deeply connected by profound bonds—this system was created by Buddha to foster the growth of human souls.
For those hearing this, some may recall harsh treatment, a lack of kindness, or painful memories of selfish parents. But how did the parents feel? Some parents are clumsy and unable to express their love openly. No parent truly hates their own child from the heart. This, too, is a spiritual truth.
Deep down, parents long to love their children. They want to love them more than anything. This desire to love is one of Buddha’s divine qualities, implanted in every human soul.
There may be parents who, due to economic struggles, difficult relationships, or other circumstances, could not fully express their love. Yet, regardless of the circumstances, most parents carry a sense of guilt, feeling they may not have given their child enough love.
Some parents are consciously aware of this guilt, while others may not be. But in their own way, they were trying to love their children.
This is something difficult for children to understand. However, parents are not perfect either—they too are souls undergoing spiritual growth and learning.
Why did I choose these parents? Why did I choose this life? What was I trying to learn from this experience?
Perhaps everyone is born with their greatest life challenges within their family. This might be because family is something we can never truly escape from. There are problems that can only be solved in an environment where escape is impossible. There are lessons of the soul that can only be learned through the challenges of parental love. We are born into this life determined to face and resolve these challenges.
To understand yourself, it’s important to reflect on your relationship with your parents. By doing so, you may discover the root of your pain—something you hadn’t been aware of before.
Parental love is truly mysterious and holds incredible power. Even when the whole world is against you, even when everyone says it’s impossible, just having your mother or father supporting you—just having your parents believe in you—can make you feel like you can accomplish anything.
When you deeply realize the magnitude of such parental love, a natural sense of gratitude will arise. A desire to give back, a feeling of needing to try harder, and a strength to move forward into the future will well up from within your heart.
Perhaps Buddha created the workings of this world to teach us the joy of loving one another. And family is the starting point of practicing love.
Children seek love from their parents—that is the natural and healthy way. It is the child’s way of expressing love toward their parents.
And parents—they wish to love their children unconditionally, endlessly—even when they cannot express it well, even when they struggle to show it.
As children grow and become adults, they come to understand their parents' love. And from that love, they try to give back to others and to the world.
What a beautiful cycle of love that creates!
If you have been able to remember your parents' love after reading this far, please try to express the overflowing warmth in words and convey it to them. Surely, at that moment, an indescribable sense of happiness and light will once again surround you.
