Even if you try your hardest, you may have trouble raising your child and feel discouraged at times.
In order not to regret the precious time you spend raising your child, why don't you take a break and relax a little?

From the teachings of Master Ryuho Okawa on parenting, we have selected prescriptions for the mind that may be helpful.

Spiritual reality of the parent-child relationship

 

 

The relationship between parents and children is also very deep.

It is very rare that this relationship is created by chance.

From a parent's standpoint, it is easy to assume that a good child has a spiritual connection with you, but a bad child was born by some mistake, but this is not true.

The education of the soul is also woven into the relationship between parents and children.

The parent-child relationship is set up to train the soul in solving the problems that appear in the home.

Therefore, even if parents suffer because of their children, they must remember that this is also a problem in the workbook of their souls.

The child is a soul that you have chosen to be your child, a child who surely has a connection to you. There is one important lesson latent in the upbringing of a child by a parent. It is this: Parents see in their children their own alter egos, their own likenesses.

This allows parents to learn about many things and to look back at their own self in childhood and see what their own personality is like.

The child is the mirror for the parent, and the parent must be reminded of themselves as they see their child or children.

Furthermore, for parents, children are very important "trees of hope" that will fulfill dreams that the parents could not fulfill themselves.

 

From “Coffee Break” by Ryuho Okawa

 

 

Knowing to be content is the key word

 

Since human capacity is limited, it is important to know "what to take," and as a result, there will always be something that must be given up.

If you think, "My happiness is for my children to do well," then you may have to curb your own career a bit, and if you are overwhelmed by life, then you may have to withdraw from your children's education in moderation.

Parenting is not so easy. It is very difficult and, in any case, takes a lot of work. One of the reasons for the declining birthrate is the fact that children are a lot of work. Unlike in the past, the level of living and the level of culture has risen, and they are very knowledge-intensive, so parenting requires a lot of work.

If you misjudge the total strength of the project in that area, I think the whole thing will go bad or there will be a very big setback somewhere.

Anyway, the key phrase is "knowing to be content". You can't do everything to the brim, so you have to give up something, and if you don't, you have to be satisfied, overall, with moderation.

If you think you are pushing yourself too far, you have to do something about it in moderation. I think you should think about that.

 

From "How to Develop Your Personality" by Ryuho Okawa

 

 

It is better to think, "By the age of five, your children are almost done with repaying their parents"

 

 

I have read many books on early childhood education, and there is one phrase that has stayed with me the most. It is the phrase, "Children are cute until they are five years old."

The book contained the following:

“For parents, children are only cute until they are five years old, but that is already enough to repay their parents. After the age of six, you should give up.

Each person is struggling and struggling to find his or her own life, and the child, too, is on a painful path, and if you place too high expectations on them, you will damage the child's life. So, think, 'The child's filial piety ends at the age of five. Then the parent-child relationship will work out.'"

It takes a lot of work just to raise a child to the age of five, but during that time, children give their parents dreams and hopes. In addition, children up to the age of five are more adorable than anything else, and relatively many of them listen to their parents very well.

Therefore, it is better to think that "by the age of five, the repayment of favors to parents is almost over. If we can accept this as the case, it is likely that there will be no misfortunes in the parent-child relationship, and in some cases, children may unexpectedly become more filial to their parents.

 

From "How to Develop Your Personality" by Ryuho Okawa

 

 

Virtue is born from "giving with expecting nothing in return"

 

"I am fine with being a nameless hero. Raising a child is my purpose in life, and that alone is reward enough for me. All that remains is for the child to live a happy life." If parents feel this way, children will not run away from them.

However, if the parent thinks, "I will properly recover what I suffered later," the child will want to run away.

If a child is constantly told how much debt he or she owes, whether it is the father or the mother, the child will want to run away because they do not like a debt collector.

If your child begins to run away, you should reflect on the fact that you may have a habit of talking like that, too.

 

From “How about you?” by Ryuho Okawa

 

 

Causes of Failure in Parenting

 

When parenting fails, the cause is almost always that the mother is either demanding that the child compensate for the part she has sacrificed, or she is taking out her grievances against her husband on the child. And because this seems unreasonable in the eyes of the child, the parent-child relationship can fail.

When there are several children, all children must be treated in a well-balanced manner, and women today are often not good at this. However, if you cannot handle all children in a balanced and skillful manner, you will not be able to create harmony in the family. This is especially true for those who grew up as only children, because they did not learn how to handle their siblings in their childhood.

This may be due in large part to the fact that the old firstborn inheritance system is now broken.

To begin with, mothers, generally speaking, like children who resemble their own type and dislike children who do not resemble their own type.

Also, if she dislikes her husband, she will dislike one of her children who resembles her husband, and she will like one of her children who resembles her, but this is not fair. It is only natural for a child to resemble either the mother or the father, since the child is their child. It is not the child's fault who he or she resembles.

Thus, if one's view of the child is biased, it must be corrected.

 

From "How to Develop Your Personality" by Ryuho Okawa