คอลเลกชัน: SCHOOL REFUSAL

The causes of children's chronic absence from school include "bullying or violence at school," "personality difficulties in communicating with others."

In addition, there are many other reasons, such as "difficulty in keeping up with studies" or "conflicts with parents."

The way to deal with the situation differs depending on the cause, but no matter what the environment,

it is important to see hardships and difficulties as nourishment for the growth of the soul.

In addition, it is important to be grateful to those around you and to do more of what you can do by yourself.

This is the power to protect yourself from evil spirits and demons.

From the teachings of Master Ryuho Okawa, we have selected a prescription for the mind for those who are not attending school.Children who have been hurt by bullying are unable to go to school, and suffer even more.

 

 

Bullying" is happening very often in schools now, and at last, some children are even committing suicide because of being bullied. This is a really serious problem.

However, more and more children do not understand why bullying is wrong.

Adults also seem to be having trouble finding the courage to say, unequivocally, that bullying is wrong.

Children are now having a kind of criminal mindset, and they even have actually engaged in bullying, but when they are investigated for it, they insist that they did not bully anyone. When a group of people bully, they all say in unison that they didn’t do it.

And the children who are hurt by the bullying are suffering even more because they can no longer go to school and are not attending school.

This is a terrible world. You could say that "a kind of hell is manifesting itself in schools." This is the complete opposite of the " world of angels" that I teach daily.

The world of angels is centered on the heart of love. Love means being kind to others, serving others, and helping the weak. It is also about comforting the afflicted and guiding those who are troubled. The exact opposite of this teaching is now taking place in many schools. I think it is truly sad. It seems that good and evil are no longer clearly understood.

"What is good and what is evil" is something that can only be recognized if one knows the world of Buddha and God. Because those religious ideas have been kept out of school education for so long, children don't know what is right and what is wrong anymore.

Furthermore, it is fair to say that the teachers who teach in schools have also lost sight about right and wrong.

 

From "Seven tips to be 'I'm Fine!'" by Ryuho Okawa

 

 

Nurture relationships slowly and without rushing

 

Many relationships fall apart because of the inability to keep an appropriate distance.

For example, some people will come barging through the door of your comfort zone, and closely attach themselves to you at the slightest gesture of friendliness or at the drop of a kind word.

There are times that you do this to others, and times when others do it to you. These people barge in through your front door and settle themselves inside your house as soon as you open your door a crack with a small notion of interest or understanding. Friendships with these types of people are very hard to keep.

There are some people who think that true friendship is a relationship in which people are extremely attached together, but actually, it is rather difficult to form friendships with people who think in this way. Friendship is something that is built slowly, through a long span of time, while maintaining an appropriate amount of distance between the two. It may be better for you to build friendships little by little.

There is some danger in becoming “best friends” all of a sudden, with very little time spent together. This is because in most cases, you do not know enough about the other person, and the other person does not know enough about you.

It is important to build relationships slowly and without haste. You need to spend enough time getting to know each other. Use this method of taking things slowly and spending time to deepen your relationships.

If you are constantly forming and breaking friendships, not only will you be hurt but the other person will be hurt as well.

The most common reason for hurting each other is a simple misunderstanding. You may misunderstand the other person, or the person may misunderstand you. As a result, you find yourself trapped in a difficult situation with that person and end up in a tragic separation.

To build a relationship, a certain amount of distance between the two people is necessary. It is rare to share an instantaneous understanding with another person, so it is better to take relationships one step at a time.

In this way, at the level of casual friendship, you’ll be able to have a wide variety of relationships. With the casual relationships that will not progress further, there is no need to force a deeper relationship. If you do not push things too far and keep these relationships at a casual level, these friendships will be able to last for a long time.

 

From "The Laws of Courage" by Ryuho Okawa

  

 

When you enter a prestigious school, your self-image suddenly deteriorates

 

 

Suicide due to poor academic performance is also common among adolescents. Such suicides are rather rare among underprivileged students, who are accustomed to academic failure, but are more common among the gifted.

Many students excel in elementary school, go to prestigious junior high and high schools, or enter top universities from the countryside, but then experience frustration and a sense of inferiority, and commit suicide.

According to the research, there are a number of suicides, especially among the students of so-called prestigious schools of higher education.

The reason for this is that until then, they were good, brilliant, and praised all the time, but when they enter a prestigious school, their self-image suddenly deteriorates. When a group of gifted people gather together, they often become ordinary or inferior in no time.

If a student who always had the best or second best grades gets into a prestigious school and ends up in the bottom of the class, he or she may become neurotic, get into psychiatric trouble, or commit suicide just because of that. Their evaluation of themselves has been pulled back too far for them to comprehend it.

When you "go to a place where many excellent people gather," you are "going all the way to a place where your reputation will decline." You have to know that to some extent.

You may think that those who have gone crazy and stopped going to school because they got into a famous school should do well if they transfer to a regular school. But even if they go to a regular school, they may feel very frustrated and fail there as well.

 

From“The Laws of Life” by Ryuho Okawa

 

 

"Imposing parental values" and "interference" can also cause children’s absence from school

 

 

Children raised in the homes of upright people who have a strong awareness of sin, who are strict and judgmental, and subconsciously guide their children to feel guilty, will often rebel.

In these cases, the problem is more basic than that of spiritual influences. The children's souls are rebelling against the sense of guilt that is being imposed on them by their parents. The children resent being bound by the will of their parents, and having their parents impose their own values on them.

The children notice the inconsistency in their parents' attitudes, and think that although they pretend to be good and put on airs when they are with others, they are really not half of what they pretend to be. They feel it is unfair to have feelings of guilt forced upon them. When this happens, rebellion wells up in their hearts, which triggers some spiritual influence.

This type of parent needs to learn that physically, although they may be parent and child, their souls are different. They have to learn to loosen the bonds with which they try to bind their children, attempting to make them act as they would like. So, trust your children and resist interfering too much.

Although spiritual influences come into it to some extent, in most cases it is the parents' attitude to their children that lies at the root of the problem. It is the result of parents interfering too much in their children's lives.

Often when parents interfere in their children's lives, they do so out of a subconscious desire to reduce their own stress. They vent feelings on their children that they cannot express outside the home.

For instance, there are parents who say, “I work very hard so that you can have everything,” when in fact what they are really doing is taking out their frustrations on their children.

The parents need to practice self-reflection and ask themselves whether they are using their children as a means of relieving the stress they themselves are experiencing.

Although they may believe that they are giving love, the parents are actually binding their children to try to make them be the way they would like, exercising a false love that is like glue. They have a strong desire to control everything and, as a result, they try to lock their children in “cages” like birds. This is not a true form of “love that gives” but actually “love that takes.”

As their children gradually grow to adulthood and independence, the parents should look upon them with joy in their hearts (omitted).

To return to the domestic violence and chronic absence from school that you mentioned in your question:

As a mother, remember not to speak badly of your husband to your children, and not to blame him for his faults while ignoring your own shortcomings. Harmony between a husband and wife has a powerful influence on children. Respect for one another and a balance in taking initiative in the home are very important.

 

From “Tips to Find Happiness” by Ryuho Okawa

 

 

Be grateful for your teachers

 

When you are a schoolboy or school girl, no one complains about you as long as you do your studies. It cannot be helped if you don’t study in such good times and come to suffer for it later on, can it?

You can get plenty of exercise at school too. You have classmates. You have friends who encourage you. It is grateful, isn’t it?

And then there are the teachers, who always warn us. Some children get upset when they are scolded by their teachers and stop wanting to go to school, and some even stop going to school. But it's really great to have someone to scold on you.

When you are scolded, think "It's better than being ignored." As you grow older, there will gradually be no one left to scold you.

When you go out in the world, you will not find people who give a warning to others. This is because many problems arise when people scold others. Even if you give a person a warning, if the person is a bad person, you may be violently punished. Some people get angry and stab you with a knife. Therefore, people do not say anything even if they think something is wrong with that person.

Then again, it is not easy for them to tell you if you are not doing your job properly. If you can't do your job right, you just fall right out.

Then again, it is not easy for them to tell you if you are not doing your job properly. If you can't do your job right, you will just dropout.

The teacher wants the children to "be better than they are." They think, "I want you to be better than I am." That kind of job is rare that wants children to work hard and become better than they are. You all should be very grateful for that. It is very hard work to care for other people's children, and it is not easy to do.

So you have to be thankful for teachers. We have to know that they are really doing noble bodhisattva deeds (doing everything for the happiness of others).

 

From “What Is Important For Children” by Ryuho Okawa

 

 

Overcome hardships and difficulties and become a person with a strong heart

 

 

There are many people, for example, who have had sibling or family problems, or who have suffered from being pushed into a corner themselves, or who have been absent from school, bullied, wanted to commit suicide, or had trouble getting along with their families.

People who have overcome such hardships and difficulties quite often become leaders. After all, people who have overcome such hardships and difficulties are like magnets and have a kind of strength as well.

In this sense, there are two types of people: those who can be easily refuted and those who cannot be easily refuted. Those who cannot be easily refuted have a strong heart and their words have "weight." I think that is what is important. (omitted).

After all, for what it's worth, we cannot sway people and change the world unless our "human power" and the "power to save ourselves" grows to the "power to save others."

Therefore, although life has its ups and downs, I would like you to think about, "What can I do where I think, 'My life sucks right now." I would like you to think about what you can try, and I would like you to be the person who says, "Even though I am at my lowest, I am doing my best job from other people's point of view."

 

From "Walking the Road Not Taken" by Ryuho Okawa